Articles and Opinion
IS LOVE FOREVER?
Jose Antonio Cangco
If I were a woman and a housewife, I would study astrology. After hubby had gone to work and the kids off to school, I would cast a hororary horoscope and learn what he and the kids are up to!
I am a man and I try to learn astrology on my own. One of the greatest astrologers is William Lily, who wrote Christian Astrology in 1647, a comprehensive book on hororary astrology. (A hororary horoscope is a horoscope for the moment, very limited in scope, time and applicability, focusing on only one situation or event. The astrologer begins by looking at his chart if the question posed before him is ripe for an answer. If it is not, he will tell you so.)
I am not an astrologer nor will ever be one; nevertheless, I try to understand the principles behind the subject to better admire it like one would do with a great painting, although every time Jupiter, the planet of great benefactor passes in my second house, the house of wealth, it makes for more challenging reading. Then, between going to work and learning astrology, I think up and write articles as my small contribution to make the world a better place to live in.
Like the endless possibilities there are in astrology, variation is the spice of life. Like astrology, love is a challenge where the players want to be at their best always. From puppy love to teen-age crushes to infatuation to real love, there is growth from childhood moods and feelings to mature affections and caring. We choose to experience variety in our lives while others prefer stability, continuity, and predictability, and who are we to say which is better? With variety come surprise, enticement, and awe, and indeed only the rare and hardy breed among us thrive in an undiversified existence.
However, when it comes to the subject of love, things change a bit. We do not welcome all unexpected big changes in our love life. We loathe separation, sickness, and death in a relationship; and if we really love our partners we try to cement it further with little aspects we ordinarily encounter such as going together to a charming restaurant we just discovered. Every day is a bright new day for us, there is no need to look for alterations and novelty where there is none. We say our love is firm, it will last forever, and then we happily settle into a rut.
When men are happily settled and women see them as smug as a bug in rug, they become curious and want to get things moving. Fortunately, this behavior is not forever and when the couple have learned to live with each other, accepting their shortcomings and all, they will settle into other more serious business. Time or maturity, whichever comes first, changes them. Like my friend, Yasser, was telling me about his cousin who got married a long time ago: “At first, he refused to go with his parents to meet the girl the matchmaker found for him. His mother pinched him, and threatened to pitch him some more, so he married the girl.” But let me say this for the system: they are happily married.
Falling in love takes three forms: loving the other for what he/she really is, seeing ourselves through him/her, or experiencing affinity where each of the couple mutually feels “oneness” with the other. These are the types of love that go on.
Here’s a poem I wrote years ago that there are many opportunities for learning and growth.
Love Moves On
Walking home from school one day
I remembered what you said,
That whatsoever which way
We'd go, you'd be close ahead.
I enjoyed the red sunsets
We would watch on our way home,
Colored lights on small droplets
On the grass, shining like chrome;
We would pass by the river
And I would throw skipping stones,
You'd hold me and deliver
In my hands rocks shaped like cones;
I breathed in the evening air
Wondering why 'twas so sweet,
Forgetting that you were near,
All the perfume that was it.
I see now the days ahead
And the life that I shall find,
For the many times you've led
And grown, I was left behind.
(Reprinted from Gulf Weekly)
Love becomes serious business when a couple starts to see it as an ongoing concern and relationship playing an important part in their lives. What is rather highly profound in eastern concept is love is not only present in our lives; it is a continuing process, and if we believe in the existence of the spirit, even into the after-life.
Love is an expression of human emotions of affection and caring, and as long as we live, we expend effort to please our partners; and, after we shall have passed on, what happens on the other side? Shall the love we had shared with our partners on earth continue? Is he/she our soul mate? Or shall we find our real twin souls there?
Tough questions. Many books, discussions, and ideas have dealt about love, though nothing comes as close when the knowledge is from the great masters. Perhaps, you may say, no one knows the answer because nobody has ever returned from there. Now, there you are wrong. We can get a good understanding of what love is all about by studying ancient knowledge because the early wise men of the East did not only ponder deep religious thoughts, they also meditated on significant matters which interested the common person.
Because their knowledge is comprehensive, there are answers to every imaginable question we can think of, such as “Will we meet the ‘third party’ over there, if there had been one on earth?”
One of the most abused new words is “soul mate”. It is immediately applied to describe the emotions felt for a partner suggesting he or she is “perfect and the only one”. Finding somebody who is a lot compatible with ourselves is not an easy task and finding someone who is very, very like our own selves is even much more difficult.
So, what happens on the other side? A couple who are really in love with each other shall still meet on the other side. However, according to ancient wisdom, everybody has a “twin soul” and nothing will ever come as close to you, or to anybody else for that matter, as that twin soul.
In this regard, each of the couple, regardless of how close they have been to each other will now be “complete.” Couples can choose to be together and if there is true love, and if they really wish happiness for their partners, they will set each other free. This may be a totally foreign concept for us but it gives hope and defines happiness to what we may find next.
Therefore, love is forever and the concept changes and becomes a bit more profound when we deal about it in a different realm or dimension. Each person will be happy in his own piece of paradise, and as for the third party? He or she will be far, far away from the happy couple.